I have decided that until further notice, I will no longer be producing any art or even attempting to keep this account alive.
My reasoning for this is because art no longer makes me happy. It doesn't even make me any money, and I don't see a reason to try and continue anymore. Sure, I like to draw, I like seeing my characters in a physical sense, I like painting, but after I hit save and post it anywhere it doesn't make me happy anymore. I know I should be drawing for myself and no one else, but its discouraging when I spend so long on something only for it to sit on a site and gather dust.
I've been drawing for years. It wasn't like this before, I used to post something and get tons of comments or tons of likes on it. It's been a gradual downhill ride for years. I've been patiently waiting out this dry spell, but it seems to only get worse. No matter what I do, no matter what I tag it as, no matter what I draw, I get nothing. And as cruel as this sounds, I'm sick of spending weeks, months sometimes, on something and get 0 or 1 like if I'm lucky, then turn around and see someone considerably less talented than me, who essentially took a pile of dog shit and smeared it on a canvas and calls it "art" get 500 likes. I don't think I have to explain how much that stings.
I'm sick of drawing something only to turn around and have people tell me the same thing over and over again. The same thing I'm tired of hearing, repeating this constant mantra of "you don't draw x" "you only draw y" "you need to draw z in x way" Frankly, I'm sick of it. I understand criticism and I'm more than open to it, but when I hear the same thing every single time I draw something, when I'm met with the same response every single time I post, it gets tiring. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not.
I can count on one hand all the people in my life who seem to genuinely like my art. I can count on one hand how many commissions I've received, and the total price of all those commissions is under 70$. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of doing something that doesn't get me anywhere, that doesn't make me happy anymore.
This account will, as of posting this, be dead. I will likely delete it, and whether I remake is a mystery even to me. I doubt it, since I don't think I'll be drawing anytime soon and I've been on this shithole of a site for too many years. A lot longer than the "4" this profile says.
I'm posting this here partially to get this off my chest, to get it out to the world instead of bottling it up. I doubt that anyone will see it. Even if I posted it on Tumblr, no one would see it or care.
This is good bye, DeviantArt. For real, this time.